Belfast Telegraph
http://www.belfasttelegraph.co.uk

Orangeism in a cold climate

By Lindy McDowell

I am an Ulster Protestant. My culture therefore is bigotry.

At least that's what I'm regularly told by a wide panel of experts ranging from republican spokespersons to international media observers.

The culture of that section of the community to which I belong is frequently described as risible, contemptible and (the word most routinely used) offensive.

It doesn't matter of course, that I might feel offended at my community's culture being described as offensive. That would just be down to my inate bigotry.

Today throughout Northern Ireland today, tens of thousands of Orangemen and women have been taking part in their annual Twelfth demonstrations. Ten of thousands more have watched them from the sidelines.

These are not all bad people.

The vast majority are (however controversial it might be to say this) good, kindly, decent and law abiding people. But the outside world views them - has been encouraged to view them -as the devil's own spawn. They are seen as foaming-at-the-mouth loons - morons whose only raison d'etre is to walk up and down the street in silly sashes causing offence to their Catholic neighbours.

The reality is a lot less monstrous, a lot more mundane.

Like most similar organisations in Northern Ireland (the GAA springs to mind as an obvious comparison) the Orange Order is more about looking in than about looking out.

It's about people focussing on themselves and their community's traditions. Like the GAA man who feels passionate about his sport and holds dear his family's and his community's links with the GAA, it's not about getting one over on the other tribe. It's more about bonding with your own. And OK, this isn't exactly multi culturalist, post modern, 21st century stuff. But it isn't vile and evil either.

The force that propels most people out to watch the bands today is not the thought of annoying others, but the hope of enjoying themselves. It's about a good day out, a chance to meet up with friends. To have a bit of a party and to sink a few jars.

The major talking point at most demonstrations today will not have been the political climate. But the lousy weather which in rural areas in particular poses a real threat to people's livlihoods.

In fairness it is not all sunshine and light within the ranks either.

The Orange Order has its loony and dangerous side - the likes of those thugs at Drumcree with their Fred Flintstone-sized boulders and their Fred Flintstone-sized brains.

But the real fault lies with those at the top of the organisation who allow this to happen. They allow the rabble to speak for them. They permit the quiet voice of decent people to be drowned out by yobbos. And while they accept that their entire organisation is shamed by the deeds and vitriol of a small section of the membership, they seem incapable of doing anything about this.

The Orangemen may claim the Battle of the Boyne as a victory. But they've lost the propaganda war.

This is not the same as saying they're currently getting everything they deserve.

The Ulster Prod community like the African American community once was, is now routinely told its culture is worthless - a joke.

Why do they do it, a bemused outside world asks of those strange men in their weird regalia.

And why do all those people, given the Order's odious reputation, line the streets to watch and support them still?

A simple answer might be that, in the cold house that Northern Ireland has become for them, the Twelfth is merely the Protestant community huddling together for warmth.

Speaking Frankly

Among the many junk emails which I receive on a daily basis (Shrink Your Debts. Enlarge Your Manhood. Barnyard Fun) is one from some whacko outfit in America who warn that the world is due to expire in the year 2050.

There are other doom and gloom articles in the same issue - one written aptly enough, by a gentleman called Ash. But the feature that really caught my eye was the one entitled When the Army Own the Weather. I was already toying with this theory even before I saw it in black and white.

Is the PSNI manipulating the weather in Northern Ireland as a form of crowd control?

It would explain, would it not, how it's been coming down like a water cannon since the beginning of the marching season. And to think I was blaming Frank Mitchell . . .

There was a heated exchange on Radio Ulster the other morning, between Willie Frazer from FAIR and a Sinn Fein spokesman about the use of a community hall in Newtownhamilton during today's demonstration.

The Sinn Fein guy said the Orange Order had applied for permission to hold a function there. Willie Frazer said this was nonsense. "They asked to be able to use the toilets. What sort of function could they have in the toilets?" he demanded.

A bodily function, perhaps?